Well I wanted to update. That day went fairly well. Yet he found longterm ways to make himself feel better and cause problems. Here it is almost a week later and we are still deprogramming our 6 yr. old regarding things he said to her on the way to WY. How I really failed the test was after we got home. About 10:15 pm that evening I went to turn on my computer. Well, he cut the keyboard, mouse, speaker and microphone cords. I told my DH, he knew nothing could be done at that moment so he just went to sleep. You guessed it, I really popped. I made some phone calls. The worst part to me is, it has been this way with this kid since I have known him, he never gets in trouble for the things he destroyed of mine. I have lost hundreds of $.... ok, I am going off again thinking of what he gets away with. My fury is the only discipline he ever got when he would wrong me.
Well after the phone calls I just sat there in the kitchen ready to cry. God, Why does he always get away with harming me and my family. So God reminds me that vengeance is His. He also calmly and very lovingly reminded me I must forgive him, if I do not He can not forgive me. Wow! It is times like these that the power of God is the only way I can get through things. All my life I have not been one to drop things, I keep running my mouth until 'justice' is served(that is until I feel justice has been served). So I had to really pray, asking God to give me the power to forgive him and to love him. So I sat there and God brought so many things of my past to reimburse, things I did to other that I have not made right. Yes, to all of those people I have been getting my just desserts. LOL As these things came to mind God reminded me of the servants the one who was forgiven and demanded to be repayed for less than he was forgiven for. Wow! It is so amazing how the Holy Spirit works. It was a peaceful conviction of my actions. It was a wonderful time with my Heavenly Father. He was so patient, loving, compassionate in His way of helping me got to the place He wanted my Heart. So after a while I was able to calmly quietly go up stairs and go right to sleep. Such wonderful sweet peace.
So, are you wondering how I am able to type all of this. Well pastor let me take home his keyboard.
Now my goal is to learn to never react, to stay calm and allow the Holy Spirit guide my actions.
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1 comment:
That's the right sort of attitude...a little late, but none-the-less, the right attitude. I always say to myself when things go poorly "it can always be worse"...
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