Facebook.... is that who I really am?

As I meet up with people from my past I wonder what about my past do they remember. Do they have a clue I have changed? Do I now live my life in such a way that when they see under religion 'christian' they believe there is a difference in me? Of do they think I am that 'preacher's daughter' who gave preacher kids the stereo type of wild/more of satan than of God?

I also wonder are they the same, how have each of them changed over time? It is so easy on Facebook, My Space and others like them to put a front up so that others perceive you the way one wants them to. I have not made it to a single reunion for numerous reasons. This fall a mother of a class mate told "just make it to your 40th, that is the best one."

My husband and I for years have been wondering why does God keep us here in Madison. A few months ago I began to earnestly pray for an answer. The reply I have received is to start telling others what I (God) has done for me. It was like the power no, the release, to do what I knew all along to do but was just to scared to speak up. I keep failing God every day it seems. Maybe it is forgetting to do something or out right rebellion. Since that day I have felt God's, well the Holy Spirit helping me to speak out. I do not know if that is the only reason we are being kept here in Madison. Yet, I know with out a shadow of a doubt that I must open my mouth more about God's goodness, blessings, discipline, getting me through struggles, strength to go on day by day. God is really becoming my only source of comfort.

So what do you think? Have I changed? Well, you do not need to answer. I must answer to God. I must change only because of what He wants from my life not because of what any other person may think or say to me. I must conduct myself the way God desires. Most of my growing up years I allowed others to influence my decisions. Praise God I not only desire God's influence yet I am finally beginning to see and to allow His influence to be first. And it has been a long hard road for me. Hard because I have made it hard, fighting God, wanting things done my way NOW, now being willing to wait, etc.